A quick brown fox stands before a sleeping dog. The dog whimpers and twitches in REM. He kicks his leg, pursuing a sexy dreamhound across a purple moor. The fox finds herself feeling attracted to the sleeping dog. Lazy dog, she thinks. What made you so tired? You’ve been screwing with squirrels and sleeping all day; is that what wears you out? She’s becoming aroused, and shakes her head. Almost immediately she loathes the dog, who lets out a slow, bass-trumpet fart. Who are you kissing in your dreams, lazy dog?

She could have anyone she wants. She’s a fox. And yet she wants this ugly, lazy dog. She’s disgusted with herself. She feels thirsty. The river is a mile away. She has too much self-respect to jump in for no reason. Maybe a reason will present itself. Maybe she’ll find a mouse, and chase it to the river and dive in with her mouth open, swallowing it down with a mouseful of water and some grass.

She starts walking toward the water. The sleeping dog lies in her path. Effortlessly she leaps over him, breaking into a trot as she lands.


Do you think the author drank coffee before writing this story?

Did the author go to a public or private high school?

How many times per week do you think the author feels “actual hunger”?

How many hours of sleep do you think the author got on the day he wrote this story?

Shouldn’t there be multiple dogs? The author must have realized this only after writing the story, and then been too lazy to go back and add a dog to make it right. Lame.

Why is the fox named “Qwerty”? Is that a pretty name? Do you think the fox is attractive? Did you unconsciously ascribe boobs to the fox?

Write a 500-word response paper about the influence of Creedence Clearwater Revival on a non-musical artwork.