private post

I have a degenerative retinal condition that causes severe night blindness

normally it only affects me at night/low-light situations

this week I’ve been having trouble seeing during the day, too

it’s supposedly supposed to  slowly encroach to my “normal” vision but this feels sudden

maybe I just need new glasses — my prescription is a different joint than the condition — it’s like deck chairs on the titanic vs. poison flesh-eating barnacles on the titanic

sorry if you are here to read a recipe for Pussy Pie, or whatever, this isn’t a food blog anymore, so “fuck off”, I stopped food blogging like a year ago, get with the fucking program, food blogging is dead

that’s right, I’m angry and inappropriate and gay and uncompromising from now on on this blog

If you can’t take the heat, get out of the Google Reader (or other RSS reader of your choice)

I read almost all of Bill Buford’s Heat yesterday, instead of cleaning/working or hanging out with wonderful “locals”

It’s way fluffier than I thought, I don’t know why I thought it would be such a masterpiece, I recall being “gently surprised/kurious” that the blurbs weren’t more like “this book will pan-sear your fucking brain like a pheasant with a clove shoved up its ass, oh my god this book turned my nutz into a fricasse, I’m freaking out”——Joyce Karol Oats, the New York Review of Sexuality

This book made my nuts feel like real nuts, like marachino almonds or some shit, oh my god, this book is about food but also about life”—Steve “Marschino” Almondz, the New York Prostitute

I’m reading this book right now and I feel like Habermas or Leonard Bernstein is blowing me, I’m weeping, it’s that good” —Cynthia “French Toast Points” Ozark, The Ozick Monthly

When I read this book I feel like I’m eating — oh wait, I was eating while I was reading it, and the book and the thing I’m eating [salmon sandwich with beer] is also equally good”——Paul Rabinow, famous Foucault scholar

“When my daughter told me she wanted to read this book for christmas, I fucking punched her. Then My wife called the cops and I was jailed for child abuse. I wasn’t raped in prison——not everyone is——but I wasn’t exactly having fun there, either. I ended up ordering Heat through interlibrary prison library loan, and I read it. Reading it was like fucking a jello bagel in the back of a mercedes. unfuckingbelievable!!!!”——Richard Lewis, comedian

“Dip dip trippa slip, rumblefish, tee-pee grip. Just kiddiing. Twelve stars.” ——Calvin Johnson, the man who discovered K records

“This book is the perfect nut-sheath”——Gwen “Ifill, Triffid” Stefani

“Like Stanley Crouch and Curtis White before him, Bill Buford has eaten two consecutive lunches, and created a masterpiece of filth and beauty — very dirty, very pretty. I like. I like a lot. Gimme.”——David Sedaris, author of “The Gloaming as Wet as my Ritz” and “BeaverChattt”

just kidding, these are fake blurbs that I made up to make up for hurting your feelings earlier on in this blog post.

my “boss just walked” in, so I have to close up the fuck-up shop in a sec. oh well. I was having a lot of fun just “jazzing around”, as the late John Gardner (gardiner) would have it. fuck you–