The Perfect Salad

the perfect life

notes on a salad


home made

I’m just kidding •

the lowercased personal pronoun i •

bell hooks, the real person •

if i hope to make money off my online web-diary, which I do, I’d better start occluding my alcoholism better

Just kidding. “Pain sells.” So do cartoons

Don’t ever make plans verbally — it’s important to send a written communication. That way there’s a paper trail — even if that paper is electronic

You don’t have to read every sentence in the novel. Or: you don’t have to read every sentence carefully. Some of the sentences are dead-wooden conveyances to the living, juicy sentences. Just plough through, dog. It’s way better skidding blindly across a few panels and reaching the end then it is to read the first third really carefully and never finish.

This novel is about the thirty carp in a tank in my home. Each one has her own story. We’ll start with Bram, my first carp. The last carp in the book’s named Penny.


Oh, shitty carp. My stomach sang like a cell phone.


Forget the other carp. I hope you fall asleep soon.

Thanks for visiting the blog again. I hope you don’t catch all the bad twee viruses here. Your computer probably has good virus protection software. I seriously think you’ll be fine.