Neff Hall

I’m in a student lounge in the J-school? Except my computer science class is in this building? On a weirdly non-password protected newish iMac with a filthy keyboard. I went back to school, Rodney Dangerfield style. Today’s the first day of classes. This morning involved the self-inflicted horror of going to the pre-lecture lab of a computer science class that’s above my level and feeling totally hosed. I don’t know why I thought I could skip the prerequisite class. Because I know what FTP stands for? Please.  I learned my lesson and in 20 minutes I’m going to the intro to programming course I should’ve settled on in the first place.

The campus is filled with ambling students. They mill, they stand, they sit. It’s muggy and mild. A little overcast. Lots of shorts, sandals; every T-shirt has a different way of saying the name of the school.

FEMALE STUDENT: I was born in 1993. You were born in ’92?

MALE STUDENT: Yes! How did you know?

I want to somehow mention that these two students were Asian, except it’s not relevant. An hour or so later, two semi-formally dressed young white men walking purposefully together appeared to be making fun of the way Japanese people speak. After that, two students were walking very close behind me talking about playing football, the various merits of their teammates’ throwing ability.

—[Something something TK] roommate. He’s a black guy? We looked in his room and there was a scratch pad, like for a cat.

—Aw, he’s got a cat?

—Yeah, what real man has a cat?

—Actually, I had roommates once and they had pretty hot girlfriends and they had a cat, so…

I turned and looked at the speakers for the first time. One was obese, which surprised me because they’d been talking about playing sports. Forgot that football and obesity aren’t mutually exclusive.

There’s more but it’s time to attend the lecture. In my classes today I’ve been making intensely thoughtful facial expressions. I am 10 years older than everyone in the world.

6 thoughts on “Neff Hall

  1. Welcome to the industrialized meat market that is state-sponsored, land-granted, post-secondary education. I think there’s a book you could write about all this and still ignore collegiate aspirations. Good luck.

  2. Reliving your college days is every 30-year-old’s dream. Love it while you can, obnoxious racialisms and all. Just kidding, post your course schedule. Not kidding.

  3. It’s true. This is why I’ll always try to live near a college campus and pretend to be a part of it all. Plus, I can pretend that my partner is my prof. You can do the same.

  4. I love reading about / watching Back to School(s)!
    my b.f. is doing back to community college now, age 29. sounds like you have not as many wignecks. power through, friend!

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